Day 3

Forgiveness….

This is one of the best presents you will ever give yourself. It’s incredible what forgiveness will do for your inner being. Simple to consider, not so easy to activate. Forgiveness will be similar to a deep sea diving expedition. You will be diving over and over again.

Once you’ve acclimated to a certain level of forgiveness, then it’s time to take on the challenge and dive even deeper. After awhile when you have exhausted all you can in one area, then it’s time move to another and start again. Choosing to keep diving and choosing to dive even deeper will be rewarding. The deeper you dive, the better the treasure.

Forgiveness is a process, a mindset, and a way of life. It requires patience, practice and persistence. We can be hard on ourselves when the results of forgiveness won’t manifest on our timeline. A secret ingredient of forgiveness is perspective. So many times, we look to others for forgiveness, when in actuality- it needs to start within us.

This is not to say that the act of forgiveness is not able to occur in tandem with others. Yes, we forgive others as we would want them to forgive us. It’s not as if we take turns and say ok you first and then me. It’s more about our choice to forgive first, and then we allow others to forgive on their own timeline.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Eph 4: 32 [NIV]

The process of forgiveness may be achieved in a few steps:

1. Take responsibility for the offense (OH YES, This a must!)

2. Acknowledge that it hurt them

3. Ask for forgiveness by saying "Please forgive me."

4. Promise not to do it again

5. Declare what you will do different

EX: I know I stepped on your toe, and that it hurt you. Please forgive me. I promise not to do it again. Next time I will look before I step.

This is a very simplistic example, but one that shows an effective strategy. When offenses are deeper and the other person has been affected in an extreme fashion, it may be beneficial to speak specifically as to how it made the other person feel. Also, it may not be a one and done deal, as offenses may have layers. However, for our chat today, we will keep it short and for the purpose of sharing how to begin. We will “dive” into details of how to do more at a later date.

A couple of other vital pieces to apply with the act of forgiveness are body language & tone of voice. If you are not authentic in requesting forgiveness, then please postpone and do NOT do it. It will not work and may make things even worse…. Salt on wound… OUCH! Please do a motive and heart check first.

When you ask someone to forgive you it also comes with an act of humility. This will occur when pride has been shoved to the wayside. Get ready for an enormous endeavor. Putting on humility is the scuba suite needed before the big dive to forgiveness. You know putting on those scuba suites is a quest.

The Lord brought to my attention an episode in my personal life when I was married. We had a disagreement and we were “having it out”. I remember the words

HIM: “Just tell me what you want me to do.”

I was so irritated by this. My reply was “You should know what to do”.

Here’s Gods point:

We go to God with “Just show me what to do”. Does God get mad at us for not knowing what to do? No, because God is love and operates out of this love. And because he shows us his grace and mercy, he approaches us with calmness and gentleness. He takes the time to show us and then has hope that eventually we will get it and choose to know what to do from that point.

There is a trove of concepts here and is one of the many reasons why, in our carnal selves, forgiveness becomes so complicated. Just as deep-sea diving, you don’t just go buy the gear and dive in to ocean. No, it’s a process. It’s takes time. First you have to decide that you want to do it. Then you walk out the steps accordingly. Find a good instructor. Purchase the lessons. Buy the gear. Learn the skills. Practice what you learn. And eventually, over time, you master the ability and are ready to go at it on your own.

God is the same with us as he teaches us forgiveness. He is excited that we want to learn. He will be your instructor. Go ahead, take the challenge. Get yourself prepared and get ready for the thrill of a lifetime. There’s so much treasure waiting out there for you… go get it! It will be worth it.

Blessings,

~ Faye ~

P.S. such an amazing song…

Forgiveness by Mathew West https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCra2GifbcY